Streak of bad luck..(count your blessings)

booze, smokes, party and friends.. is my christmas, not the right way but wat the heck!.. we all went to hedy plcs.. had games.. gifts exchanges and many hugs and laughter.. we play twister, as usual the big size me.. is the loser... wahha.. we have the eunice and serene fighting for the top spot.. seems so easy for them.. Humbug!

Then we have a childhood game.. zero pt. a long rope made out of rubber bands, so the bunch of twentys and thirties gals.. jumping over it.. jess was great!.. I am amazed at with her height she can jump over better then most taller ones.. then we all sneak down to the pool for an illegal nite swim... whahaha.. went for abt 15 mins and a neighbour start screaming at us... so we went back to hedy plc.. drink more wine tok rubbish and chill out... I was so zonk out.. jess ahs to drive my car.. wahah...

well.. was glad I felt happy... was worried sick that my car accident will dampen my spirits but wat the heck!... just have to take it easy.. :> oh yah burnt my stupid hand.. being a clumsy oaf.. wahaah...

being a spolit brat.. I grumble.. but.. the disaster earthquake at sumatra make my problems seems stupid... saw the news.. felt so sad.. 23000 lives and going up..

8.9 earthquake.. do you know.. this huge earthquake only happen 1 or 2 times in a thousand year.. guess is many pple misfortune to experience it in their lifetime... sigh... 8.9 earthquake is 1000 times stronger than a 6 earthquake.. and a 6 earthquake is already a very big earthquake.. so much for year 2004..

Saw houses gone, lives gone.. Insurance claims will be affected this year..but.. my colleague made a very sad pt.. the hotels and the resorts will be making their claims to repair damage done

but many pple in the third world country who is too poor to insure themselves will have lost all their money, houses, and their loveds ones..

Stop grumbing abt minor car accidents and burnt hand...I should feel that I have good luck.. i was born in singapore.. natural disaster only happens on tv for us. all our neighbours are badly affected but we escape unscathed.. coz our little island is off the plate of the earthquake and the tsunami waves are block by our big neighbours.

I have house, hospital,life and death insurance! hah!..

who can commment you deserve a better right in life to own all this?
No one deserve more..
Count your blessings and lucky stars tat fate and destiny adores you more...

better let all the bad luck runs out by this year..
pray for all the misfortunes and pple who have suffer.
pray tat fate do not forsake them.
pray for the 2300 and more lives (1/3 is children)

let 2005 be a great year..
All be blessed...

JOYOUS and PEACEFUL NEW YEAR!

Merry Christmas Humbug!

The holidays are here... not much of a mood... wallow wallow... in self pity... i think I am getting pathetic..

Life is so good for me... from an outsider pt of view..

I have been chasing my dreams my goals.. i have lots of dreams when I was young

I fulfil some, I forgotten some.... I have smooth sailing in all my life..

I used to be very patient and love to observe things around.. listen to pple.. to friends..
but I guess along the way I have lost it all..

I dun listen anymore.. I blow my temper easily on the road.. I curse at every bad service or injustice I get..

but I stop listening to myself.. so sad...

I am fortunate to have friends who are still around.. ppl who care for me and worried for me...

People who believe in me even though I dun anymore...

I am learning everyday.. . to be happy and contended.. I try...

2005.. must try.. be contented that you are alive to pass 2004.. look forward to working hard... to be more patient.. to curb my temper, and to love better... to treasure better.. to listen to myself...

And the best of all, be bless your friends are still here with you...

Cheers!

Missing in action

back office.. for few hours.. now having a long long break.. have not got internet access.. happly holidays!!!!... so nice end of the year... except for my birthday.. everything is great..

every year when appraoching my birthday.. I get really moody.. maybe older must be more solemn.. sigh... so me been busi shopping for presents.. for christmas.. sigh.. very stress job..

buy for who.. wat to buy... sigh.. die lah... stress... hee...

life been peaceful and calm... she been really nice and trying... makes me so guilty..
I feel like spoilt brat..

She seems to be able to sense something is wrong.. i been detached and cold towards her..so she been doing small little things..she got a hotel room for my birthday.. I am very touched.. think maybe I have been too harsh and quick?? i dun know... I know she been trying hard to tok to me and listen to me...I have not really think abt wat really went wrong.. actually maybe I dun think is her.. I think it is me.. I craving for change... but wat change?

I think i need to pick up some dangerous hobby... diving... hee....

maybe I am too free....

damn.. i dun even know wat i want for myself... let alone for my relationship.. sigh...

For all the effort she put in... i wan to try to work it out... i have too...or else i will condemn myself... sigh...

test... test.....anyone still around???

expressive idiot... Sat nite midnite show.. starts at 1245.. we have a an hour to kill, sat at the back of tampines mall, near the stone bench smoking waiting for time, the expressive idiot ask a qns.... you know.. if you we so busi with our work.. doing our own stuff, will we forget the the relationship??...

the reply was..no... as long we have each other in our hearts can liao, you mean you will forget me??...

stumped..

expressive idiot. say: "I am afraid.."
I dun wan us following most of our friend's relationship reaching to a stage tat is too late too salvage..

the reply.. then how.. I have not even start work.. it will be worst you know..

expressive idiot: it is not the time.. but we are losing the quality..

A straight look in to my eyes came the reply: "our relationship has always been smooth sailing and sugared..maybe it is time to see if we can pass this obstacle thru.. A test to see if we can survive it. there is nuthing we can do abt it rite?

expressive idiot. say: I guess so.. the test of time..

I am...afraid of myself.. I have no confidence...

the following she seems to realise the distance.. and she is trying very hard to be attentive.... makes expressive idiot still feel like a bloody selfish bastard.... tat seems to be stressing her...

I dun how if she is happy??
wan to love her.. wan her to be happy .. and expressive idiot wan to be happy..

wat happen to simple?? when has is it turn so strange and hard?